Posted in Uncategorized on May 31, 2010 by anandloki

Fuck wasn’t a word Kabir used very often. Yet that first Monday of June, the said invective had popped out of his mouth twice – and that too in a span of 6 minutes. First when he realized that today he was probably NOT going to escape getting walloped by the irate students of Britto College. And second when he came face to face with the girl he would fall in love with…

Not making sense?  Ok, let’s just turn back the clock a lil bit…

7.45 AM

Location – The Britto College Hall where in about 20 minutes a very special presentation ceremony was scheduled to take place. And if Kabir had his way, things would not go as planned…

Who’s Kabir ? See that guy in the khaki uniform sweeping the stage? Nope he’s not the jamadar and he’s not even from this college. What’s he doing here then – let’s jump 17 minutes forward in time and find out.

8.04 AM

Principal D’Cruz was at the mike on stage and all was in readiness for the presentation ceremony.

Especially a 3 feet by 2 feet aluminium box that was waiting all by itself, in the wings.

Actually not quite so alone, cause Kabir was there too…

8.07 AM

Principal D’Cruz’s resounding baritone rang out through the hall with the happy announcement that Britto College had succeeding in wresting the YMCA Panel Debating Trophy from their age old rivals National College.

Team captain and reigning dude of Britto – Kushal Bharadwaj bounded up on stage. Moments like this were part and parcel of his life but yet he couldn’t wait for the next one – winning and revelling in the glories of victory was what he lived for.

The aluminium box was brought onto stage and amidst thunderous applause, the Princi handed the box to Kushal.

Kabir who had now sneaked through the darkness in the hall to a vantage point from where he had a clear view of the stage and yet was three paces away from a door could feel his heart pounding. This was it…

Kushal reached inside the box and pulled out what should have been the trophy…

But what a stunned Britto populace saw him holding in his hands was a jhadoo!

The same jhadoo that Kabir had been cleaning the stage with…

And this image of Kushal staring like a fool at the jhadoo was what Kabir captured with his camera as everlasting testimony of the grand prank he had pulled off.

Just before throwing the door open and racing out of the hall…

8.13 AM

The element of surprise was on Kabir’s side. He had almost reached the end of the third floor corridor before any of the enraged Brittoans had charged out of the hall.

His plan was perfect. He had left a rope hanging at the end of the corridor, slithering down the rope and leaping over the wall would take him about a couple of minutes, exactly how long it would take the lynch mob that was chasing him to reach from the hall to this end of the third floor.

But then Kabir realized something which prompted the first impassioned “FUCK!!!”

The rope was gone…

Kabir had no way of getting out, there was no way he could head back and reach the stairs in time.

And by now the watchmen in the quadrangle below would have heard the shouts.

He was well and truly fucked…

Before I tell you whether every bone in Kabir’s body was violently restructured by the furious Britto mob, there is one question that must be answered.

Where the hell did Kabir’s rope go?

The answer is waiting for us, back in time.

7. 48 A.M.

Kabir’s plan was indeed perfect. Except for one wicked twist of fate, that no one could have foreseen.

The fact that scant moments before the beginning of the assembly, Shailesh Sheth a.k.a Balti (because as a fresher he had flicked the jamadar’s cleaning bucket) had passed by where the rope was hanging.

Call it kleptomania or just plain greed Balti could not resist dhaaping anything – cutlery from hotels and airlines, chappals from outside temples or as in this case – a rope.

Not that he needed any of this, Sheth senior dealt in diamonds and the family owned an entire building in the poshest part of the city. But like we said Balti wasn’t motivated by need but by greed.

Exit one rope.

8.15 AM

Enter Kabir in extremis. On the verge of being publicly hammered and humiliated by the students he hated most…

But where most people would have panicked and been punished for it, Kabircalmly assessed his situation and came out with one slim but viable plan of escape.

Barely five paces away was a toilet,  a ladies toilet, sure, but which would currently be empty – after all the students would be in the hall.

Without the slightest hesitation, before anyone could see him Kabir had dived inside the toilet.

Beyond the stalls was a fairly large window, before anyone had figured where he was, he could climb out the window, slither down the drain pipe and…

Only problem was between him and the window was a girl.

An extraordinarily pretty girl with mischief and amusement dancing in her eyes.

The Principal’s address on the first day in a new college was something nobody would dream of bunking.

Precisely why Meher Gujral had to…

And as Kabir stared at the most enchanting pair of eyes he had ever seen in his life, his tongue acted of its own accord.